10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Having My First Baby

Walking into parenthood for the first time feels like entering an entirely different universe—one overflowing with deep affection, unpredictable chaos, and a complete lack of restful nights. Leading up to my first baby’s arrival, I studied every guide, perfectly arranged the nursery, and genuinely believed I was ready. However, no amount of preparation can truly brace you for the nonstop demands of caring for an infant. If you are seeking genuine parenting advice for new parents, this list is meant for you. 

The Reality of the "Fourth Trimester"

The weeks right after birth are frequently called the "fourth trimester," and once you live through it, the name makes complete sense. Your infant is adapting to life outside the cozy, familiar space of the uterus. They naturally seek constant closeness, regular feeding, and gentle reassurance. What I didn’t realize earlier is how typical—and even beneficial—it is for a newborn to desire being held nearly all the time. At this stage, showing affection through holding won’t create bad habits. Welcome the cuddles, try a soft carrier to free up your hands, and keep telling yourself that this intense period of reliance won’t last forever, even when it seems never-ending during the hardest moments.

It’s Okay to Not Love Every Second

Here’s a reality check that doesn’t get discussed enough. Online images often show parents glowing peacefully while their baby coos contentedly. But real life can look very different—there are tears from everyone, breastfeeding challenges, and waves of being completely overwhelmed. It’s perfectly acceptable to admit that raising a baby is tough. Looking after your emotional well-being matters just as much as physical care. If ongoing sadness or worry starts to take over, talking to a doctor is a smart step. 

Feeding is Harder Than It Looks

Whichever path you take with breastfeeding or formula, expect some bumps along the way. Latching troubles, stress over milk amounts, and total exhaustion from waking up at night are all part of the experience. The most important rule is simple: a fed baby is a healthy baby. When your little one gets enough nourishment, they grow well, and when you’re calmer and less tense, you’re better able to provide that care. Reaching out to a lactation expert or checking in with your child’s doctor when things get tough is always a good move.

Safe Sleep is Non-Negotiable

When sleep deprivation hits hard, it’s tempting to pull your infant into bed for just one feeding session. But I discovered that following safe sleep guidelines is absolutely essential. Experts advise using a firm, level mattress inside a crib or bassinet, with no extra bedding, soft toys, or cushions. Keeping your baby in the same room with you is advised for around the first half-year, but actually sharing the same bed comes with serious dangers. It’s smarter to get up and sit in a chair for feedings rather than accidentally dozing off in an unsafe spot.

Your Baby’s Poop is a Window to Their Health

I never imagined I’d spend so much time examining diaper contents. But you will. Early bowel movements are dark and sticky—this is meconium, and it’s completely expected. Once feeding gets going, the color shifts to a yellowish, seedy texture. But pay close attention: if you spot white, dark (once meconium has passed), or reddish stool, snap a picture and call your pediatrician immediately. Also, know that grunting, pushing, and turning red-faced are usually just babies figuring out how their bodies work, not necessarily constipation—as long as what comes out is soft.

The "Witching Hour" is Real

Plenty of infants go through a stretch during late afternoon or evening where they become extremely fussy without an obvious reason. This often comes from cluster feeding or simply being overloaded by the day’s stimulation. This stage won’t stick around forever. On tough nights, one helpful trick is to set the baby down securely in their crib, walk outside for a few minutes of quiet air, and give yourself a short break. When you’re calm, it’s much easier to help your baby settle down.

You Don't Need All the Gear

The market for baby items is enormous, constantly pushing the idea that you require a certain wipe warmer, a designer diaper holder, or a high-tech bassinet. Truthfully, you don’t. The basics include diapers, wipes, simple clothing, a secure place for sleeping, and a car seat. Everything beyond that is extra. Spend your money on things that truly support you, such as prepared meal services or someone to help with housecleaning now and then.

Protect Your Newborn’s Immune System

During the first eight weeks, a fever is a significant concern. If your infant under two months has a temperature reaching 100.4°F (38°C) or more rectally, get medical help right away. That’s why limiting contact with visitors who could be carrying germs and asking everyone to wash up before touching your baby is so important. Even mild sicknesses like RSV can be serious for newborns with their small, still-developing lungs.

You Will Find Your Rhythm

The earliest weeks can feel completely disorganized, but little by little, you’ll start seeing patterns. You’ll figure out which cry means hungry and which one means tired. You’ll master doing almost everything with a single hand. And above all, trust your gut. You’re with your infant day and night, so nobody understands them like you do.

Conclusion

Bringing home a baby shifts your entire world in ways you could never predict. It’s without question the hardest task you’ll ever love. Show yourself compassion, accept support when people offer it, and ignore anyone who passes judgment. You’re handling this better than you think.